Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead

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What do you call a black man jumping out of a plane? A skydiver

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knock knock who's there ? dogs dogs who? phone

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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Roses are Red Voilets are Red I am Red I am Dead

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You.

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Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

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Want to hear a joke about Potassium? So do I.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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Why do people discriminate against black people? Because they show an undeserving amount of disrespect towards the rest of the world and why should they get anything better than what they offer.

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? average

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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