Richard fell off a cliff. He hit the pavement and died on contact. If only he knew he could fly.

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how do you get expelled? Rape a special ed kid.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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you know what they say... hydrate or die

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Two black guys walk into a country club and ask to play a round of golf. They are turned away because the aren't members of the club.

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A Asian man with a boner runs and hits the wall... He beaks his nose.

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What black and blue and red all over? My mom after my dad comes back from the bar.

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how to u kill a baby with no arms, throw it in a pool

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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What are corpses favorite form of entertainment? nothing, there dead.

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There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

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why were the little boy's clothes all wet? because they found his body in the bottom of a river.

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A Polish man came home one day from work, hung up his coat, took off his hat and walked into his bedroom shouting "honey I'm home!" What should he see but his best friend in bed with his wife. Infuriated, he rushed to the cupboard, pulled out his gun, put it to his head, pulled the trigger, and died instantly. His children and lecherous wife are forever scarred.

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To the person who wrote the dislike joke: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH GOOD FAIL!

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girl says..joe..................................................................... boy says...who is joe................. girl..the idiot of a helper at my skl

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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A blind man walks into a bar Backs up, and walks around it.

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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A kitten walks into a bar and orders a saucer of milk. Everyone enjoys the novelty of his presence.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

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What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

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Why was the woman making a sandwhich in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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