Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down -27

As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why didn't Helen Keller have headphones? Because they weren't invented

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a gun and he'll build you a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Cadillac? A Cadillac is a car, and a dead baby is a morose and disgusting topic of internet humor.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did Michael Jackson ask a Best Buy clerk for the best 3D TV? He didn't ... He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why Did the baby cross the street? He was stapled to the chicken's back

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Inquiry: After the specially hired detective in shades of black had managed to finish his secret investigation of the crime scene, what significant affair did he demand and expect to subsequently occur next in the logical chain of events? Answer: A specific transaction of money. To elaborate, immediate providance of previously allotted recompense in the particular configuration of myriad pristine wads of cash.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Wanna hear a joke!? Miley Cyrus.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Aye, ye be thinkin' it to be "ARRRR" - but it be the C

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the little girl fall off the swing set? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

thumb_up thumb_down +20

roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did Hitler make the world a better place? He died.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the chicken cross the road? It is a domestic bird in the wild that is free to go where ever it wants to, that's why

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced to against his will by a group of marauding ninjas who happened to be strolling by at the time.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's brown and smells Iike crap? My brother he doesn't shower and is Hispanic

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? I just ding dong ditched you.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Were your parents drunk when they named you?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU CARE? LET THE POOR CHICKEN IN PEACE! No, seriously he was going to his mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops