What did the penguins get for Christmas? A hang-glider What did the polar bears get for Christmas? Death, The Holocaust, Global Warming, and all of Steven King's books.

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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Why did the black man shoot everyone? Because he is black

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, ask him.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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what is the difference of a duck..... it neither wears tie.....

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What happened to the boy when he did nothing? The game.

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How do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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What's worse than being a black Jew? Being a racists anti-Semite.

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What do birds need when they're sick? Medical attention

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Chikin nuggets

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i'm colourblind and shit at poetry

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What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

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knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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Knock knock whose there? i have a warrant, i excpect you to come out peacefully with you hands behind you back

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i'm a loser with body odor.. plus i play pokemon to pass the time because reality is just to horrible to face. guess who? josh wood.

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How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

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What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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I went to the store and I fell

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A: Knock knock B: "NOOOO" A: *Comes in, sees masturbating son*

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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