Knock Knock Who's there? Donald Trump Donald Trump who? I already told you my full name. You're fired!

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

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what's harder than dodging bullets? dodging rain

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Yo mamma's so stupid, she dropped out of college.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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Whats the best way to take down a skycraper? -Crash a plane into it-

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A young christian boy walks into a church and gets raped

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops