Why was the thirteen year old raped by an online predator? Because he made very poor choices on giving out his personal information.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than getting Alzheimer's? ........what am I doing here.....

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Reduce, reuse, recycle Anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a man with a sack of money running from a bank? A rich man.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

thumb_up thumb_down +5

you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between a large pizza and a black man? The pizza is a delicious Italian classic dish, while the latter is a human being which man frown at the notion of consuming.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why could'nt Boris fit in with the other kids? His name was Boris.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the tree say to himself? Gee-oma-tree( get it geometry say it outloud)

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What worse than a baby nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

a:two guys are white but one of the guys can only see black and white so he said dude you black he said no so they have a race who won :nobody they both got hit by a bus then a car then a donkey eaea then a horse

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops