Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when we're chased by bears.

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

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How do you drown a blonde? Weigh her down and throw her into a body of water.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your mom likes dick and so do you

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What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

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Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

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Your moma's so fat, she has a considerable list of medical health problems, and she is very miserable.

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Knock Knock Sadly the old woman was death and didn't hear the door knock.

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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a sausage maker buys a box of cereal

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

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What did the man say to the jew? How are jew?

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What do you call a black man in space? A space monkey.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No Ok

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Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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What do you call a midget cripple with cerebral palsy? Unfortunate

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Knock knock ... Knock knock ... Little did the man knocking at the door know that the kid was told not to answer the door when he was home alone, so the kid was hiding

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How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

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What happened to him after he died? He got buried.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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