How come Helen Keller never played professional baseball? Because she was a woman

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Q: Why did they laugh at the black guy? A: He told a funny joke.

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Have you ever heard of a goose?

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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Q:What do you call a cow with no legs? A:A hamburger.

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GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

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Butterfly is standing on a flower. Cow comes and steps on that flower

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How come the dog didn't want to go into the sun? -Because it didn't want to turn into a hotdog.

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what is orange? an orange

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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I have two friends, Jeffrey and Barbara. You might think that Jeffrey likes sports and beer, and that Barbara likes knitting and cooking. But you'd be wrong, Barbara is dead.

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What do you call three black guys in a bar? A bar.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

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what do you call 2 walking Arabs with long beards? pedestrians.

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Whats the leading cause of death Life.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

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What did the cow say when he saw his family get murdered? Moo.

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why couldn't three people walk? they were a part of the human centipede.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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5 Italian guys from Long Island

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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