Why did the middle-aged black man lose his job? Because in this day in age, many businesses are being forced to lower their pay-roll, and he could no longer be afforded.

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What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

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How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

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Q: Why did the clown fall off the swing? A: Because he was shot in the face

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Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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What would you find if you shaved chuck norris's beard? A chin.

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Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side.

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What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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Your momma's so fat: She fears a lower life expectancy and consequently not seeing her grandchildren grow up.

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What was the last thing the boy heard before he was hit by the school bus? Nothing. He was deaf.

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why did the US nuke japan besause sending chuck norris would be to cruel

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Little Billy rested his head on the pile of bricks. It had been a hard day for Little Billy, but, in less than an hour, he would finally see his worm again.

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What do you get when you mix Obama and Chief Keef? OBLLAMA

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Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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Blonde Girl: Why is this green-painted man throwing forks at me?! Green-Painted Man: It is confusing you, no?

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

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Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

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What do you call a exceptionally funny anti joke? Well, usually cruel and extremely vile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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