why didn't love legs cross the road because he had no balls

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Why did the personal trainer get fired from the gym? He lacked good customer service skills.

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Knock knock. Who's there? A bad joke.

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Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

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Q: How do you know if you have had too much to drink? A: When you find a bloody hole where your kidney is.

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did you hear about the dyslexic journalist? he employed an assistant to double check his work. They worked really well together.

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What's orange and is a loyalist in the orange order? Caoimhin McCann?

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

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What do you call a black women serving 60 years in prison? A prisoner.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet, Who gives a shit

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Do you know any anti-jokes. Yeah, I do. It's a bit pointless though.

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roses are red violets should be purple

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Why did the blind man get hit by a bus? Because his seeing-eye dog was distracted by a squirrel and ran off, leaving the man in the middle of the cross-walk in heavy traffic.

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Hellen keller

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to probably balance himself.

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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what dyu call a jew on the moon? a problem. what dyu call ten jews on the moon? a bigger problem. what dyu call all the jews on the moon? problem solved.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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Whats brown and drives people around? A cab driver of south asian decent. Finding a job that alligns with their qualifications and experience is not always possible, so they take up menial jobs to survive and provide for their family.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a depressed alcoholic drug addict whose children had all been diagnosed with a rare form of terminal brain cancer, and he decided to end it then and there by jumping in front of an approaching bus.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Dead babies can't paint.

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

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People who find just saying 69 is the funniest thing ever.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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