Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Why did the black man have sex with the white woman? Because they were married.

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? A: Shark bait.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? Steve Johnson, and I'm legally obligated to inform you that I'm a sex offender.

2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

James' father died from being overweight. The next day in the mail, James received a coupon for Skinny's garcinia cambogia pills to help him lost weight. Simply put, it was not a good day for James.

did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

Why did the mushroom go to the party? Cause he was invited.

Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

Why couldn't the kid get in to see the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13, and he was only 11. Plus, he had no money, and his mother didn't want him watching movies like that.

tim tebow is a grat quarterback

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A bug in your nut.

What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

What did Helen Keller name her dog? She didn't, her father named the dog because he was aware of his daughters innability to speak.

What's white and horny? a unicorn.

How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You take a survey of all citizens that live in the country of Mexico, find the wealth of each individual person, and whoever has the most money is the richest person in Mexico.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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