- Anti Joke

What did the Chicken say to the Interviewer Interviewer: how do you feel about your eggs chicken: the eggs are actually my periods. Interviewer: how do you feel about your periods ChicKen: you eat my periods everyday. people make cakes, omlettes and all these food out of my period. Imagine the world running on your period. Interviewer: what are your feelings on your periods Chicken: I have a mixture of feelings. i feel really scared because the farmers would kill me if i can have my periods. i feel glorified because the world runs on my eggs and i feel proud. I feel freaked out because the world actualy runs on my periods

There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

What's 9 + 10 19 AB

What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

What happens to the yellow hat when it is thrown into the red sea? It get's wet.

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

How many black people did it take to change the light bulb? I couldn't tell, the lights were out.

Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? wheres my farmer?

How do you say a bad word in your language? Like this: "A bad word in your language"

there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

9 Cats on a boat. One Jumped off, how many left? 8.

What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

LOVING BIRD DIEING BIRD DO NOT FLY AWAY

Roses are red violets are blue I'm sorry to say it but i hate you

Why did Santa die? Because he got diabetes from so many cookies

What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

Why did the little kid drop his ice cream? ...... Because he was startled by the pedophiles penis being shoved up his ass.

Man: I just bought this hearing aid Friend: How much did it cost Man: No it's 8 o'clock

What do Kobe Bryant and a toaster have in common? They both rape white women. Except for the toaster.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops