did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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Why don't Vikings read the New York Times? Because they all died centuries ago. And none of them live in New York.

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

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Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

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Knock Knock! Who Is it? You, Tig

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Women's rights

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What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

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Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

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what's worse than pie? alot of things.

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Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?" Oh ya he had alzheimers.

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What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

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a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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Three men walked into a bar. Despite the fact that the bar was not an oblong piece of solid material as many would assume, the men entered through the tavern door simultaneously and found it most uncomfortable and awkward to be squished up against each other for several moments.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Actually, 6's fear was totally irrational, and thus unexplainable. This sort of fear is generally referred to as a phobia.

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Roses are red, Bacon is brown, this poem makes no sence, BACON!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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