How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

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Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

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Why did the Mexican steal a pack of tortillas? To feed his family. He didn't have the necessary funds to pay for it.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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Mary had a little lamb, its heart was black as coal, it crept into her room one night and ate her f***ing soul

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Jesus on the cross promised he would return rite? So three days later he returns in ghost form and leaves. So why people still waiting for him? He returned and left already! (Lack of Moral?): The third coming: this summers blockbuster hit!

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Why was the boy sad? His parents died in a horrible accient earlier that day.

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roses are red violets are blue you little stupid a*s b**ch i aint f***ing with you

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I'm rick james bitch

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people magazine

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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10 years later...... a baby is born in Japan and has 26 toes due to radiation

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Why do black people have white palms? Genetics.

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Why was the asain studing? Because he had a 59 in math and needed a C to tay on the footbal team.

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Why was the man burnt? Cause he fell in a fire

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?................ we dont know because u cant c them

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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Whats sorer than stubbing your toe? Stubbing your toe twice

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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Listen Nero, you consider us like friends too right?

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I would very much love to meet you again Erron, call me sometime I do not care how you get my number.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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