How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

Why didn't Johnny have any food left? Because he ate it all.

Your mamas so old that she sat next to Jesus in kindergarten?

How many band geeks does it take to catch a football? One, especially if he/she is on the football team.

If a tree falls on a woman, and no one is around to hear it, what is a tree doing in the kitchen?

What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Susie.????

Why didn't they let the black people play baseball? Because they're bigoted bastards.

Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

What did one dead baby say to another dead baby? Nothing... they were dead.

Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

I've just been struck by an enormous bolt of lightning. I am covered in boils and my house is full of frogs. I strongly recommend that when referring to God, always use the upper case 'H' on all personal pronouns.

What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

A man walks into a bar not a duck though

Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Women.

Why did the little and energetic girl fall down? Because I snapped her neck.

Why was the Black person afraid of the chainsaw? Be cause it goes run nigga nigga run nigga nigga run

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

A Irish leaves and bump in to a really tall the Irish sorry boss

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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