What was wrong with the tomato? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What does it mean when you have big shoes? Either you were genetically born with big feet, or you are wearing sheos that are too big for you.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

thumb_up thumb_down +6

HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do elves get for Christmas? Overtime.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two fish are sitting in a tank. One says, "I'll man the guns. You drive."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why do eggs come in 12? because 13 is bad luck

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

ill have a no.9 a n.9 large

thumb_up thumb_down +6

happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happens to the yellow hat when it is thrown into the red sea? It get's wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you say to a dead man who knocks on your door? Nothing, you shoot him cause he's a zombie

thumb_up thumb_down +6

There were 3 men on a rough each granted one wish to make. The first guy sees a bird and runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a bird and he flies away. The second guy sees a butterfly so he too runs and jumps off the ledge and wishes to be a butterfly and flies away. The third guy telling himself those were all stupid wishes, makes up his mind what he is going to wish for so he runs to the ledge and just after he says "I wish to be" he trips on the ledge and says, "shit!" So his wish was granted and shit he became. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? wheres my farmer?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops