Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

thumb_up thumb_down -140

What happened after four homosexual clowns all squeezed into a little toy car simultaneously? Children and parents alike were amazed by this feat, and considered their $5 entrance fee very well spent.

thumb_up thumb_down -148

-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Obviously.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the black guy good at basketball? He practiced hard everyday.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

wanna hear a joke? womens rights!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A rabbi, a nun, and a homosexual walk into a bar. They proceed to get drunk, and party like its 1972. Oh yeah. And your dad was just killed by a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman gets off the bus and files a complaint with the public transit system and the driver loses his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

a man walks into a bar and dies

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did one pole say to the other pole? We are both from poland

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

three men walked into a bar, the fourth one ducked

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting attacked by an evil demonic llama.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

pussy enough said

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's sadder than the Holocaust? Not a lot of things because it was probably one of the most depressing series of events that happened in the 20th Century.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops