How do fish die in water? The BP oil spill

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How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

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Has anyone seen Stevie Wonder's new car?! Nobody seen it?! He too!

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

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All work and no play makes Johnny successful in his field of interest.

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what was the funniest part of the titanic sinking? nothing, many innocent people were killed and left their family devastated.

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Why did the girl fall if her bike? -she has no arms

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What's black and white and red all over? A exploding zebra.

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Q: What did the Asian say to the Jew? A: Nothing. They were both anti-social and preferred to stray from face-to-face conversations.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell into the mud.

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what do you call a black man in a police car? A police officer

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2 guys walk into a bar. You'd hink one of them should have seen it. After all, it is a large building.

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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so the guy @ the asian restaurant ask the waiter why his beverage tastes funny and the asian waiter says "It's likely that you are used to classic coke and they changed the formula"

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Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? STOLEN! You're under arrest.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender jokingly asks him, "Why the long face?!" The horse replies, "I was just diagnosed with cancer."

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"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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Fred awoke and looked outside. The sun was rising over the fog in the valley below. Birds were singing, and the air smelled of freshly cut grass. THIS was the day, Fred thought, that I'm going to kill my wife and kids.

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why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

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What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

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Who would win in a fight, Godzilla or a Tyrannosaurus Rex? It doesn't matter because Godzilla is fictional and a T-Rex is extinct.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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