What do you call a Mexican hockey player? A hockey player.

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What is even bigger than an elephant? A gi-ant! (Wait you did say an anty joke right!?)

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How many fingers am I holding up? None, my fingers were blown off by a hand grenade.

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A blond walks into a bar. She orders a drink.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving in a car. They're on their way to the mall, or something.

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

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Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

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Three men walk into a bar. A fourth man ducks.

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What's brown? My toilet hahaha

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Q. What's large, solid, and full of veins? A. A man or woman who frequently engages in weightlifting and follows a diet primarily based around high protein and low carbohydrate intake

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Why did the baby die? It got shot.

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What did the priest say to the child.... nothing he just gripped his arm tightly and pulled down his pant

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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Animal

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Q: What do you call a hillbilly with 12 girl friends? A: A shepherd.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's worse than being mugged? Being raped by bulbasaur.

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Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says "MOOOOO!". The other makes an unremarkably similar noise.

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Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

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What's sad about a house on fire?, it was my house.

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Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

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I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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