What did Tarzan say when he took out his knife? I took out my knife.

What is the speed limit in front of Liberace's house? 40mph because that portion of the road is curved.

What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

You're mama's so fat: she has to wear plus size clothing

Why did the armless girl fell off the swing? Because somebody pushed her. Why did se fell again? Because somebody pushed her again.

Why was John the octopus depressed? Because his real name was Steve, and he couldn't communicate this to anyone since he lacked the higher brain functions and vocal chords required to do so.

What's yellow and dangerous? China.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The pizza guy. Your pizza's here.

What do you call a black man without a job? Unemployed.

How many finger does a fat person have? I don't know you can never find there hands.

What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing. He was Jewish.

Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

What did the abortion clinic serve at the cafeteria? Fetus soup

What do you call a half man half manatee? A manatee

Have you ever had sex with a woman (or several at once) and suddenly thought somethi... Moral: Nevermind, like you ever had sex! LOL!

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I like to sniff your hair when you are asleep.

What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

What did the gay man say to the other gay man? “How was your day?“

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

What did the man say to the man? Awkward.

What did the ghost say to the bee? BOOBEE

girls basketball

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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