A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

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Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

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What do you call a brunette between two blondes? Susan.

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why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

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What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

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How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

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your mama is so fat that she weighs 261 pounds.

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What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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Have you tried Honeybunches of Oats?

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Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

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A man walks into a bar and slowly draws a pistol and kills 5 people.

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Yo Mamma

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Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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Why did the little girl cry A rabi slapped her and stole her ice cream

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What do homosexual men do during sex? I don't know, but if you want to, I suggest you ask one of them.

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MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

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Why did the man push open the door? The sign said PUSH.

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In Soviet Russia, the government kills with famine and genocide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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