what did the little girl find when she opened the freezer in her basement? food.

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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So an asian man gets into a car... and drives home on the highway driving at the approximate speed of the designated speed limit while exhibiting safe driving maneuvers. He arrives home to his wife and kids and sits down for a nice dinner while having a engaging conversation about the political future of the United States and his favorite football team.

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Person A: Is your refrigerator running? Person B: Yes Person A: Good! Now, your milk won't spoil.

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What is as dry as a bone? A bone

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

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The red guy lives in the red house, the green guy lives in the green house, and the blue guy lives in the blue house. Who lives in the white house? The purple guy, he just hasn't painted his house yet.

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What's the number one killer in America? Death.

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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I went to see a fight and all of a sudden a hockey game broke out.

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How do you know if a Frenchman has been in your house? You could ask a neighbor, or check to see if anything has been missing, or set up a camera. There are actually many ways.

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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Ran into my ex last night, so I put my truck in reverse and did it again.

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

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if a black man, a Chinese man, and an Indian were about to jump off the Eiffel tower, who would hit the ground first? who cares?

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck CAN chuck wood, that's why his a wood chuck.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream and huddle in a corner of our first grade classroom because of a masked gunman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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