why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house knock knock Who's there THE CHICKEN

thumb_up thumb_down +18

SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man is having dinner with his family at a restaurant. While eating his food, the father tells the waiter,"This food is delicious! My complements to the Chef." When the waiter comes back to the kitchen he says "You are a very handsome man."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats a cat? A cat!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the kid say when the bully took his ice cream nothing the bully punched him in the face first.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats something only kids wear? Clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Hey, look over there! It's ur mom!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I am the sun. You are the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

i have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar man asks ''what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What do you call a white man circled by 11 black men? D12

thumb_up thumb_down -30

how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Where did John go? Refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down -96

Friends are a lot like trees They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -114

A chicken and a triceratops walk into a bar. They both immediately recognize each other and start trading anti-jokes, of which no one else in the bar understood, for they are animals, and animals cannot speak. Which brings up the question of how the triceratops and the chicken would communicate in any way that was conversely accurate to how humans would make jokes. Also adding in the fact that they are both from different eras of time, and the people wonder why a triceratops is walking around when they are in fact extinct. Turns out, the triceratops was an animatronic that gained sentience and ran off the set of Jurassic Park IV, a movie production that was not yet announced, as Steven Spielberg was still working on other movies that were more important at the time. The chicken flew in here because he heard the bar was close-by to where he worked, so he decided to drop by after a long Friday. The bartender finally walks up and asks the triceratops, "What would you like?" The triceratops then went on a rampage and killed everyone inside because he was an alcoholic and lost his family because of it, since his ex-wife would be worked to the bone trying to raise his 2 children and adopted platypus son David. He lost everything in the divorce. Why was he in a bar then? I don't know, I can't talk to dinosaurs. The chicken then befriended the triceratops, as the chicken was a secret anarchist who sought to bring down all the stores on the street, as his mother was killed there while trying to cross the street. She fell into a manhole. The chicken and the triceratops then traded usernames on League of Legends then played out that Friday teaming up and taking down Evil. How do they play League if they're animals? Because this whole story is made up and you wasted a good 2-3 minutes trying to read this.

thumb_up thumb_down +85

hi im paul!

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops