What does a dyslexic person call God? Dog

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What's better than having an iPad? I don't know, I lost both my hands.

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Your mama is so fat... she really should go on a diet.

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What Do you Call Cheese that's not yours (nacho cheese?) *interrupt them violently and stare with crazy eyes!* STOLEN! I was gonna make quesadillas, now no quesadillas for anyone!

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What did the doctor say to his dying patient? Shit happens.

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I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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LALALALA MUSIC MACHINE

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What did Lil Jimmi received at his birthday ? A red fire truck and he loved it

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A man was chopping wood, he then brought the wood to his house and lit a fire.

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What's worse then finding out that your partner has AIDS? I don't know actually, but finding out would suck pretty bad...

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Why do black people love menthol? Nobody knows.

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There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

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What did Tarzan say when he say an elephant coming over a hill? Hey look, there's an elephant coming over a hill!

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Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

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What do you call 12 ghosts? A bus accident.

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Lets see how many dislikes this can get.

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A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

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What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

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A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

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In Soviet Russia... People were burned alive for refusing communism.

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I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

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Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

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Where should a 500 pound alien go? On a diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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