A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

thumb_up thumb_down -118

What's the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -124

A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the thief get for Christmas? Nothing. He was sentenced to the death penalty.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q. Whats the difference between watermelons and people? A. Watermelons don't smoke pot...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

96

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls down.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

roses red violets blue my name chad i stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops