what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas? cancer

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple

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why didn't the dog run after the ball? he was blind.

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Wanna hear a Harry Potter joke? Knock Knock Who's there? You know You know who?

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Animal

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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knock knock. I have a doorbell, you don't have to knock.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

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What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

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A horse walked into a bar, broke its leg and its owner then had to put it down because it was a racing horse and the owner did not have enough money to bring the horse back to health. Fuck you.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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What's yellow and has six legs ? A cat. I may be wrong about the color and the legs, I'm color-blind and I can't count.

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Will you marry me? No, I'm cake.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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Nero, man, I mean I will hurt you, I am on my way to the hospital, and seriously that pic does not look real, seriously on a hospital? I mean man, I am really sorry! I nearly killed you, how was i supposed to know you do not care about your teeth and take half a bottle of that calcium stuff? My mom? Yeah sure! She laughed at the message you sent her, and if you touch my sis, ill kill you, anyway I am on my way, you better change your mind or I will kick your ass!

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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your mom is so poor that now your family is at risk of losing there home

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Why did the child drop it's lollipop? Because they got hit by a bus.

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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