So - this baby seal walked into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What makes fat kids laugh? Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

thumb_up thumb_down

A boy dares his friend to jump off the walking bridge. The boy's friend accepts the dare and jumps. What happens next? The boy brain is splattered on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Man 1: What kinds of phones do snails use? Man 2:I don't know, I don't think they do. Snail: The snail said nothing, snails don't speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What did the kid see when he fell down the well? Nothing it was to dark.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A cannibal wearing a sport coat, grey slacks, and a pink tie walks into a bar holding a duck in one hand, a chicken in the other, and chewing on a human arm. He is subsequently shot by one of the patrons. There's a concealed weapons law here.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

How many fairies does it take to screw in a light bulb? If you still believe in fairies, there's something wrong with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Q:Want to hear a pizza joke? A: Never mind it's to cheesy.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

Joshua Brown was in a dark forest, with a misty haze surrounding him. He turned quickly and flicked his hair out of his face. Dylan Hodge appeared and they had wild sex all night!

thumb_up thumb_down +85

what did the schizophrenic get for his birthday? new friends

thumb_up thumb_down +71

What do you call a pencil made entirely of steel? I dont know, i dont name my pencils.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Whats yellow and shaped like a banana? Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What's green, red, and goes fifty miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the police stopped the black driver? Because one of his car's lights was busted.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops