Why did the chicken cross the road? Suisidal

So a priest and an atheist sit next to eachother train After talking to eachother for a short period of time, the priest discovers the other man's beliefs and procededs to spend the rest of the ride trying to convert the atheist. Incredibly irritated the atheist gets off the train a stop early to escape the tirade. The next day the atheist sees on tv that the train crashed right after getting off, and the priest is listed amongst the people killed in the accident. He is ecstatic, and says to himself "ha, proof of divine retribution," but then he feels confused because he realizes he doesn't believe in a god...

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

How does one propagate a humorous reaction from peers and associates while not utilizing such characteristics as whit, jocularity, substance or auspicious punch lines? That's what she said.

What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

What's my name? I don't know u tell me.

Why was the man unable to get an erection? Because he was a woman

A man walked into a bar. It was closed, so I don't see how this was possible.

Nick Demarco got butt due to the high number of females in his apartment

knock knock whos there? your mother your mother who? ...........what?

Chuck Norris can watch TV.

what did one caterpillar say to another caterpillar? let's be butterflies

How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

What's the difference between mw2 and mw3? Nothing

Whats the fastest way to a man's heart?? Saw through his breastplate.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? He said, "Where's my tractor?"

Gale swallows.

Q. Did you hear about the kid napping? A. Yeah, he woke up and was grumpy

whats black. an african american person

How did the fat man die? Someone who was mad at society shot him and many others in the head while at the workplace.

Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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