What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating on the water? Dead.

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What's the best way to eat 20 pancakes in ten minutes? With a fork

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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Why was the chicken mad? Because he was sick of everyone questioning him even when he crossed the road.

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Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

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Johny wanted a pogo stick for his birthday. Johny's mom got him a pogo stick for his birthday. The day of Johny's birthday, he fell off the pogo stick and broke his arm.

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you.

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Why was Jeremy slow? He wasnt fast.

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Your so ugly That when you look into a mirror it shows an accurate potrail of your unproportionit face

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Why did the creator of Anti-Joke.com make the website? Because he probably wanted to promote his book and make more money.

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roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Around a thousand pounds.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls down.

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w8's white and speaks russian a russian stronk

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your mom is so poor that now your family is at risk of losing there home

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y did simran cros rode? 2 get 2 uder side ofcurse. stopid nobs

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what did the Spanish priest say to the Ukranian gynocologist? *fart*

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Lizards are like marshmellows. If you put them in the microwave they blow up.

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A man goes to the doctor complaining of pain. Everywhere I touch it hurts, he tells the doctor. "The cancer has spread," the doctor says. "Go home and spend your last days with your loved ones."

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What do you call a group of black men jumping off a building? Chocolate Rain

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A teenage boy walks into a bar, he doesn't even know he's slowly drinking his life away

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How do you kill something thats already dead? You don't. It's dead.

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Whats he best type of terroist? A dead one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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