Why'd the cat have one eye? It got kicked by a goat.

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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Whats better than winning a Paralympic Gold Medal? Having Legs.

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? They are delicious.

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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What happens when you turn back time? You get "emit."

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What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

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knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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I bought a DVD called "the 18 holes of Tiger Woods". It was a fascinating incite into the golfing technique of arguably one of the greatest sportsmen of all time.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How do you get rid of a boomerang? There are many potential options for getting rid of your boomerang. You can choose to pass it on to somebody as a gift, make a profit through thrift stores or online auctions or perhaps sell it in a newspaper. Alternatively you may wish to simply dispose of it. The average reading speed of an American adult is 300 words per minute. This was exactly 100 words. This means that it took approximately 20 seconds to read it. This means that approximately 4 people died of cancer world wide while you read this.

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Q: Why did the bully hit the kid A:Because he is a bully-I thought that would have been self explanitory.

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Q: What did the boy do when his mom asked him to put away his clothes? A: Yes. PS: If that wasn't funny to you, then go f**k off. You clearly don't have any sence of humor and you should see someone about that, like a mental health doctor.

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The pope and three young boys get into a cab. The pope tells the driver to take the boys home.

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Why was timmy crying? He gave his grandmother AIDs...

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Cause it looks like you landed on your face.

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Why did the boy cry? because his tear-ducts were agitated by an emotional reaction due to jokes that were ironically hilarious because of how bland and usual the punchlines were

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What do you call a man who leaves his wife and kids to be with another woman? A dick.

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What couldn't the stereotypical pirate get into the movie? Well, considering that the stereotypical pirate existed in the sixteenth to eightteenth centuries and the first motion picture wasn't made until the mid to late nineteenth century, also the technology for time travel does not exist nor has it ever, I would have to derive that he was not let in due to the fact that there was no way for him to ever exist at the same time that a movie would have been playing.

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A bass player walks past a bar. What? It could happen.

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The Holocaust

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Why do black people always say to the left to the left... because they don't have rights.

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As a teen girl was walking through the perfume shop, she picked up one called, "Swirly Paradise." She sprayed it on her and sniffed the sweet scent. Suddenly, the world spun around and she suddenly woke up inside an empty bra. A mouse sniffed her and ate her alive.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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