knock! knock! who's there? mom mom who? your mom... your girlfriend just died in a car accident while carrying you baby...

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you... But then I decided that it was a dangerous form of employment and stopped.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Why coulden't the fish swim? He got poked in the eye with my nipple. My nipples get really big when I'm swimming in cold water.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's the difference between donuts and dead babies I don't have a pile of donuts in my garage

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y did simran cros rode? 2 get 2 uder side ofcurse. stopid nobs

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What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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why cant the black guy vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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How did the thief acquire a lamborghini? He has a side job as a lamborghini salesman.

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Even though Jenny was retarded, her parents didn't love her any less than the family dog.

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A frog found a smoking cigarette on the road, so he/she takes it, smokes it, and explodes.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

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How do you kill Michael Jackson? You don't he is dead.

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Chuck Norris can watch TV.

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What do you call a group of homosexuals placing an order at McDonalds? Gay

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Why did the chicken walk into Mordor? It didn't. One does not simply walk into Mordor.

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Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it's delicious.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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