When life hands you lemons hand them back because you don't like lemons

whats worse than losing your pet rock? having your dog run over buy a car.

Knock knock whos there? me oh, cool... well come in.

In Soviet Russia its very cold

Man 1: youre going to die Man 2: why? Man 1: everyone dies

Where do you find your quadriplegic dog? Right where you left it.

A man and a talking elephant in a waist coat go to a party. The party is actually an intervention for the man because he's on drugs and is ruing his life. The elephant is not real.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies "I have cancer"

66

Whats the difference between black and white? nothing,because in art they are just shades.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The single celled amoeba. As billions of years passed, the simple amoeba began to form limbs which it utilized to crawl its way out of the ocean onto dry land. Millions of years would pass before the simplified organism began to develop into a fully functional chicken.

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? I don't eat hot dogs. Thank you though.

96

Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

Why was the gay kid made fun of........... because he was homosexual who was struggling in life

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the postman, I have a package you need to sign for.

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a sponge is not a who, it is a what.

What do you get when you cross a rhino and an elephant? Two angry pachyderms.

roses are red violets are blue the stems are green they smell good

What has tomato Sauce And came from italy? Pizza

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second and says "it sure is getting hot in here!". The second muffin looks over and responds "this makes no sense - we shouldn't be capable of speech, let alone self-awareness." "We probably should try to get out of here, though."

What's round and red? A round and red solid.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...