What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Never again, I have all the intel I need on you, you cost me a fucking eye, you think I would let go of that so easily? It hurts day and night, I have not slept in days, my fucking eyelid is torn right off, and while I use a fucking excuse for an eyepatch, I still have not gotten used to sleep without being able to shut both my eyes, I have a constant fever, you miss me, you are directly responsible for scaring my wife and fucking over my face. Deal with it, cry harder asshole. Moral: You step on my foot, I break off yours, you cost me an eye, you do not know whats waiting in line for you, I am going to make you beg me to let you die! Did you think I would warm up as quickly to something as irresponsible as you? And we do not know yet if you did this on purpose, we do not even live in the same fucking country, and I get assholes assaulting me again! What the hell have you done? If my wife had been here I would have been dead! Moral: I hope you got pets, I will skin them alive in front of your face!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you occupy a blonde for hours ? Give her a long list of stuff to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down -23

what did jesus say to moses? jesus isn't real

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How's your mum? she's dead..

thumb_up thumb_down -115

What do you call two Ethiopians standing side-by-side? Friends

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Q: Whats Faster than a bullet A: A Jew chasing coin

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What would be funny? Seeing justin beiber 's penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

why did the ginger start crying. because people through bricks at him!

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

-rick:hey wut happens wen i pull this pin -jerry:rick no!!!!! rick then starts to cry as he remembers the tragic accident that caused his friends death,which rick caused

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Sarah got hit by a bus.... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you call a homosexual kid? A Kerich

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Typically only one, though more may be required under extreme conditions.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops