After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

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What's the color of an apple? It varies depending on the type of tree and climate the fruit grows in.

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A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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who farted i did :]

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A Jewish man joins the German Army. He serves with distinction during the First World War, receives several commendations for bravery, and is one of the 12 million people killed during the Holocaust.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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A man sees a hitchhiker on a road. The man crashes because he was not watching the road.

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What's the difference between a duck?

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Q: How do you get a bunch of mexicans attention? A: Say excuse me, can I have your attention please?

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Your mommas so fat that she has developed adult onset diabetes.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is created to be used by multiple people for sitting down or other forms of rest, and does not have consciousness or the complex body systems of humans and other animals.

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If a tree falls on a house and there's no one there to hear it....Why was there no woman in the kitchen?

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh

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Why was the little boy sad? He tried to dry off his puppy in the oven.

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You might be redneck if you are... Indian

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a duck walks into a bar, sits down and asks for grapes. the bartender says, "no, we don't serve grapes." so the duck leaves. the next day the duck goes back to the bar, takes a seat. "got any grapes?" the bartender says, "i already told you we don't serve grapes here. if you come in here and ask for grapes one more time, i'm going to staple your beak to the wall!" the duck leaves. the next day, the duck returns, sits at the bar and asks, "got any staples?" the bartender replies, "no, but there's an Office Max next door where you might find some."

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did he hellen keller say to her dad ? Nothing she cant talk

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What looks like poop and smells like cheese??

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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