BUT HWY?

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I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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Q:Who has the highest K/D ratio in Call of Duty World at War A: Hitler, 6000000/1

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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Why was Jane absent from school today? Because she got mugged on her way there, and soon after was hit by a passing bus.

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

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Jesus wept.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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Question 1 - What is 1 + 1 = Hospital

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After a long day on the movie set, Lindsay Lohan decides to go out to a bar. She gets really drunk and high on drugs and some guy takes her back to her trailer and stuffs her muffin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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A man walks into a bar. "Excuse me sir," he asks, "may I have a beer?" "No," says the bartender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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