Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

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Whats the difference between a cow and another cow Help my dogs eating me

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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Two guys walk into a bar.... OUCH

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What is black and white and red all over? Black people in a blender. I lied about the white

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'Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.' That's fantastic because Peter Piper was paralyzed and the doctors said he would never be able tomove is arms or legs again, and there he is picking a peck of pickled peppers. I applaud you Peter Piper.

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and then the final bell rung. Everyone gathered in the bathroom to watch the fight. The challenger asks the opponent, "Hey whats that one thing you say when you let the other person win?" then the opponent says, "I give up?" The opponent yells, "I win!"

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A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

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Quick! It's a fly, call the swat team!!!

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A man named Jake walks into a bar. The bartender says hi jake... The End

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A house comes around the corner.

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What's worse than a paper cut? 2 paper cuts.

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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What do you call a baby with a shadow? A shadow-baby!

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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2 men were in a bar, One was talking to the other, "I was walking down the street someone fell." "ha" "isis it true?" "What" "isis" and a bomb went off and they all died

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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Why did the Squirrel swim across the river upside down? To keep its nuts dry.

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A vampire sees a werewolf at a bar, aware of the upcoming brawl between them two, the bartender shoots them both in the head but it's okay because neither of them exist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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