why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Whats a movie? A moving picture.

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I have ADD Check out this flashlight!

Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

no

if yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs?

Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

What's faster than a black man carrying your TV? The law enforcement that promptly catches him and is about to charges him with theft regardless of his ethnicity because stealing someone else's property is just generally an unlawful thing to do.

A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...