What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

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What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

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Oh please! Come on! Those that got to us where mostly Russians remember? And what where my parents? (if you do not know you might have guessed it by now) I found a guy that looked about the same as me, messed him up and put my jacket on him, I do not die that easily. Anyway, id explain more, but I have been without these fucking painkillers so long that I am talking trash on this stupid site again... Seriously the pain I am used to, but this addiction on painkillers is a bitch... (shedog if censor got a hold on it) But it turns out I cant sleep without them, sleep just does not come anymore, so Ill go get some now. Who are you by the way? I am Nero7, Aka Axel Knight.

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What did the boy eat for lunch? - His mother.

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Drew Knowles is gay

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Your momma's so fat, when Jesus said, "Let there be light!," she had to scoot over.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your grandpa's dead So are you.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

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Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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whats worse than the black death. Bieber Fever

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? No it's Cindy Lou Who!

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I said no! Its not funny... Maybe a little but stop it, I am having trouble enough finding out which comments are mine as it is.

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what did the woman call the man who ate Ham? A Pig

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How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

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How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

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69, Is funny because the numbers are backwards

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A man walks into a library looking for books on poor punchlines. The Librarian directs him to the appropriate section.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog

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If chuck Norris is so awesome how come he's not at my house slamming my face into the keybodhdtegdudgegdtdjaowpqhwvsmx vxbdnsksksh

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there was a turkey sandwhich..... a ham sandwhich.... and a bologna sandwhich..... they had a short conversation before they were eatin by a fat kid

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I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops