Q:How do you kill a blonde? A:The same way you kill everyone else.

Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

Why did Isaac run from his mother? She tried to kill him because God said so. Christianity.

How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

What is wrong with being a black Jew? You have to sit in the back of the oven.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I workout, Don't mess with me.

hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

why did the person die? He was 90 years old and was sick. Its natural

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

There are 2 kinds of people in this world... 1.Those who need closure.

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "James" "James who?" "What the heck?You forgot me already?Its your bestfriend dude.Now let me in." ~Lil

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, there are many theories as to why the aforementioned chicken crossed the aforementioned road. The most plausible is that the chicken was wandering around, when it came upon a road. Being a chicken, it did not know the dangers of crossing it, and proceeded to.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

What is the difference between Madeleine McCan and a toaster? A toaster wasn't raped and murdered.

How did the mouse die It was eaten by a cat How did the cat die It jumped into the bathtub and drowned

Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

Roses are red, Violets are blue, your parents are dead they never loved you! I found this one on facebook and i just found this site and all yall got some good jokes LOL

Relax, it simply would not be working out for you if your mother was nearby, you see, the subconcious is limited by the concious mind, so if your subconcious can detect your mother (or anyone but me nearby) your conscious mind goes "uh oh" and it stops. Oh, right, and considering you can still type, how about we increase the effect into... I dunno, six billion? Yeah six billion. Anyway, the next time you want to experience it, just poke your nose, and since we do not want you to poke your nose off, you only do it once and you can yourself decide when it ends, at this level you should not be able to type, but if you want to type you can of course turn it off.

Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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