Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a Mentally Challenged Black Man? Whatever Name his parent(s) Gave him at birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what's worse than pie? alot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A drunk man into a bar. He is ripping apart a family

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue Wait Arent Violets purple?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Pablo experience during his first day in private school? the atmosphere of a private school

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

thumb_up thumb_down +8

David entered a radio contest to see who had the best pun; his pun was insufficient and he did not win.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't Bobby attend his friends wedding? He was struck by lightning. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Bobby

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken saw some potential food across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops