Q: How do you starve a Black family? A: By not giving any Food.

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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Hey Shea

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What does a blonde's pussy taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage.

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

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What did the underaged man say when he walked in the bar? He asked for a Coke.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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What do you call white trash Garbage

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Roses are potatoes Violets are potatoes I like potatoes Potatoes.

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, I have a retinal hemorrhage

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What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

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Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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How does your sister ride a bicycle? My sister does not have any legs.

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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Why did the weird alien jump everywhere? You probably don't want to know. If you learned why it jumped everywhere,you probably would make fun of it. I don't know if you know this, but aliens are sensitive. If you made fun of him, you probably would create World War 3:Humans VS Aliens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops