What did the black person say when his white friend said "Nigga!"? "You know, I really don't get racist jokes like this."

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What did the doctor say to the morbidly obese man? "You should get on a diet. It's a surprise you're even alive for so long with such a bad heart" The next day the man dies while eating celery.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

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Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

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What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

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A guy asks, "Why was my mom in your bed?" The other guy replies, "Because your mom has a mental disease which inhibits her ability to process thought."

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it has a serious crack addiction and there was a drug dealer on the other side.

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Why did the Asian man have to sit down to pee? Because he had no legs.

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a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

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A Jew walks into a bar screaming cause he just broke his face

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[] [] Those are eyes These are teeth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops