How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Laughter and joy... You are really sweet you know.. Excuuuse me princess! But Like Mickey Mouse never changed... From a Potato peeler to some fuckup private detective in a trenchcoat. So tell me, what character did Walt Disney draw before Mickey Mouse?

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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What's white, black and can't fit through a man hole? A nun with a spear in their head

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Q: What did the police officer do when he saw another man getting assaulted. A: Went into a corner and started fapping to it.

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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A russian gives away vodka.

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Do you know what's annoying? Steve

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When life gives you AIDS! Make lemonAIDS!

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A man is playing pacman, on his last life, and is cornered. He inserts another coin in the slot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you look closely, it's not a chicken, it's a man wearing a costume. He's going to a halloween party with some friends. Sally was not invited.

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have u ever have to clean up ur own poop? me niether.

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What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

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How do you blindfold an Asian person? With a blindfold

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

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What do you call a dog with no legs Nothing it won't come

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops