A russian gives away vodka.

Q: What did the police officer do when he saw another man getting assaulted. A: Went into a corner and started fapping to it.

What's normally shaped like a rectangle, and is so thin, it gives people cuts? Paper.

I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

A man is playing pacman, on his last life, and is cornered. He inserts another coin in the slot.

Laughter and joy... You are really sweet you know.. Excuuuse me princess! But Like Mickey Mouse never changed... From a Potato peeler to some fuckup private detective in a trenchcoat. So tell me, what character did Walt Disney draw before Mickey Mouse?

If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

A baby walks into a bar and the bartender says.... Where is your mom?

roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

How do you stop a bus? You don't, and Regina George didn't either.

My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

Do you know what's annoying? Steve

your mother eats so many chocolates and sugary confectionary that i would recommend a check up the the dentist.

When life gives you AIDS! Make lemonAIDS!

What's white, black and can't fit through a man hole? A nun with a spear in their head

Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

How do you kill a baby? You don't muder is a sin and against the law

"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

What's worse than cancer? Nothing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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