What is green and sticky and oozes up a kid's upper lip? A homesick booger.

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

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What's long brown and sticky? S**t

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why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

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Why did the blond jump off the cliff? She was paragliding for her 20th birthday.

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what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

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Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

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Someone thought that an onion was the only food that made you cry. So I threw a watermelon at his face.

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Q: What is creepy and stares at you when you sleep A: Me

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What did the blonde say to the priest? Probably something stupid due to the fact that she's blonde.

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A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

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Why did the boy pick up the baseball? He wanted to play baseball.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

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Knock Knock. Peep Hole!!

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Womens Basketball.

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A man walks into bar. Which is no surprise as he'd been drinking heavily and his spacial awareness was poor at the best of times.

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What is the difference between an obese white man, and a physically fit black man? Their weight and skin color.

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ceiling mounted bonerss CC

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? One walks on the moon and the other f*cks little boys.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not sally.

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What did the man say to the other man? Nothing, they didn't know each other..

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Lacrosse

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Why do asians have such thin eyes? Genetics

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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