Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

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What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

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Do not believe the sentence below. Believe the sentence above.

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What is black and beats up white people? a cop you racist!

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How many Facebook friends does George Bush have? None because he doesn't have a Facebook.

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow, she decided to invest in a teeth whitening procedure and begin a healthier dental hygiene regimen.

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I'm so popular... That I am friends with many people...

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

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Why did the pigeon rape itself? It had mental issues.

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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What do you call a 30 year old man with a large white van full of kids? A parent carpooling to the soccer game.

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Thomas Hobbes had a good life Actually he was born prematurely which caused his mother to die, and his alcohallic father left him at a young age to an abusive older brother sucks to suck Hobbes, at least you were smart

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

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Your mom is so fat she has to buy clothes at a Plus-size clothing store.

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That's as gay as AIDS.

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YOLO

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Libraries.

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What is pink and smells like green paint? Pink paint

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How did the little boy break his arm? He was trampleed by elephants.

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Last time I heard that I dropped my i-phone

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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