There once was a man from Nantucket. He was a nice man.

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how many Alzheimer's patients does it take ti screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side

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Q: How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Infinite, cows do not have thumbs, in fact, they have hooves. This disables them from holding any large objects without the use of their mouthes.

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Why did the black guy enjoy anal sex? Because he has a phobia of vaginas and only likes to have anal

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Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

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Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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doctor, doctor, i feel sick the doctor runs some tests on his patient then comes to a conclusion then the doctor says " you are fine"

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Knock, Knock Open the fucking Door

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Where did John go? Refrigerator

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Q: what do you call a phone that's fake? A: a phony...

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knock knock whose there?? seth oh, come in

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

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Q: What does DNA stand for? A: National Dyslexic Association

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How are a duck and a bicycle the same? They both have handlebars. Except the duck.

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Barack Obama walks into a KKK meeting. Everyone in the meeting is shocked, and no one says a thing out of sheer embarrassment because racism is no longer socially acceptable.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a random biological stimulus compelled it to.

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how do you wake up lady gaga poke her face

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Womens Basketball.

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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What did Shakespeare say to the software designer? Nothing.

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So I showed my friend my blind dog. He said, "Wow I've never seen a blind dog before!" I said, "they havnt seen you either."

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"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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