What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

thumb_up thumb_down -3

I'm getting tired of nazi jokes. ANNE FRANKly I'm quite offended

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are Red Violets are blue Shut up I'm watching Re-runs of FRIENDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Arsonist: Hey, did you listen my mixtape? It's really FIRE.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

thumb_up thumb_down -31

What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

thumb_up thumb_down -47

extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

thumb_up thumb_down +116

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What did batman say to robin as he got out of the batmobile? robin, shut the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Your eye color is very unique.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What's the difference between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down +50

what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

A jew goes to a bar,then wakes up with presents under his candels.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +28

My wife has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a black man in a suit? A lawyer.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Your mother is so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops