What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but your body rejected the transplant and you died.

What's worse than heartbreak? Getting run over by a steamroller.

knock knock. no one's home..

Why did the chicken cross the road? Suisidal

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being raped by a giant scorpion

What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroying his family.

Q: Whats big, strong, black, and sexy? A: Your imaginary dick

What happened to the man who was raking leaves? He kept his yard clean and felt great about his hard work.

How do you drown a blonde? Keep her head under water for 2 minutes because thats when the human brain starts to loose oxygen.

What's worse then Obama? Nothing

What did Darth Vader say to Luke? I am your father.

Why did the black guy enjoy anal sex? Because he has a phobia of vaginas and only likes to have anal

A black man without problems.

To whomever it may concern, You are currently reading this anonymous letter from someone anonymous. I’m currently watching you read this letter. I am not a threat. I am not Big Brother. I am someone anonymous. You will never find out who I am. You may have a few ideas of who this might be, but you will be wrong. Just know that I am watching you. That is all. I love you. All for Jesus -A

Knock, Knock. Who's There? To get to the other side.

Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Whats 9 + 10 19

Hey! i just thought of the funniest joke! okay so it goes like this: A man was walking down the street and saw a bar... he walked in and.... yeah, thats about it.....

How many stripes does a Zebra have? Doesn't matter millions of people died in the Holocaust

What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine [Emo Philips]

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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