Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the second cat. Why did the fourth cat fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the fifth cat fall out of the tree? It needed to get down, but couldn't find any other way down. After he fell, he was minorly hurt and ate some cat food.

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how much wood could a wood chuck chuck? 3

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Hi my name is Bob

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Why was the man squinting his face for so long? He was constipated and couldn't give a shit.

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why do black people were white shirts?..they feel like it

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Teacher: Be creative and original! Student A: Teacher, why do you want us to change our monikers? I'm fine the way I am. After all, I'm unique... just like everybody else... Teacher: Why don't I have the brilliant children? Student B: Chance/randomness plays a large part in our everyday lives. Take for example the life of Bob- a paragon for human normality. He gets up in the morning each and every single day to be greeted by an arbitrary occurrence. Although it sometimes serves Bob good, it could also aggrandize his human well of detriment. Teacher, do you want me to continue? Teacher: I retract my earlier statement. Some of the children are brilliant, but most are not. Hence I'm going to say that I have a normal class of students. Student B: Teacher, you didn't answer my last question of which I addressed to you specifically.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car?.. Your Imagination

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a snake in your liver. Because that could be hazardous to your health.

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What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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my names jim haha

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FUTURE-CHEESE!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

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Knock, knock Who's there? You're adopted...

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Whats 9 + 10 19

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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I heard the new Batman movie was to die for

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MLG 420 NO SCOPE THE JEWS

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There once was a man from Nantucket I raped him. The End.

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My friend came out.....of the bathroom so I could shit

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A black man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and chats with his work friends. Then he goes home to his loving family.

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3 aliens landed on earth. They all wanted to learn english. The first alien went to an opera class and learned "mi mi mi mi mi." The second alien went to a military camp and learned "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The third alien went to a candy shop and learned "he stole my lollipop!" After all of that, they went to their spaceship and saw a dead man and a cop that said, "which one of you three killed this man?" The first alien said "mi mi mi mi mi." The cop said "what did you kill him with?" The second alien said "guns and bazookas, guns and bazookas!" The cop then said "why did you kill him?" The third alien said "he stole my lollipop!"

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Whats skinny, round, tall, smells like a dead baby, hard, small, and fat? nothing

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Whats massive, long, hard, cold, and is blue? A penis in an ice cube.

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A black guy gets arrested...

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Roses are red Violets are red I stabbed the gardener.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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