Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 75% water. I can walk on babies. I am... In jail.

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-How do you befriend Tom Hanks? -Kidnap his son

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What did Elvis say when he lost his voice? Nothing.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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What did the homeless guy do when he found a quarter? He picked it up

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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Rebecca Black's new album.

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? It doesn't matter because the deaf man couldn't hear him.

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What type of cheese is not your cheese? The cheese that belongs to another person.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sexual offender.

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What's big, white and will killl you if it falls out of a tree? A polar bear.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Atch! Okay.

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why was the boy in his closet? He is hiding because his father beats him because he is gay.

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Two cannibals are eating around a fire in the jungle, and one turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" Oh yeah, and they're eating a clown.

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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i like pie

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I came across a woman on the ground and i said what happend and she said... "i tripped"

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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I went to a magic show and the magician asked for my watch... He took the watch and then produced a doughnut... Guess what was in the doughnut? JAM!

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A duck walks up to the lemonade stand. The man running the stand then smiles with a tear in his eye as he is reminded of when he and his now dead parents used to feed the ducks at a nearby lake every Sunday afternoon.

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops