Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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clamidia

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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why was the vampire sad? his last victim had aids.

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What did the pickle say to the cucumber? I am you from the future!

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What do you call a grizzly bear without teeth? A gummy bear

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What is black and beats up white people? a cop you racist!

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Q: Why did Cinderella get cut from the softball team? Q: She ran away from the ball.

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What did the fish say when it swam into the concrete wall? Nothing. Fish cannot speak

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What happened to Kim when she went swimming? She didn't, she doesn't know how to swim.

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Yo mama's so fat, she possesses a Body Mass Index that is above the recommended value for healthy individuals and thus will have a greater risk for heart disease and other related health problems.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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So much oil was spilled into the ocean that it is killing animals.

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Ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What's my favorite color?? I don't have one, i'm a joke you idiot.

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What did the man do after a bad day at work? He went home and beat his wife

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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panda bears are racist to mexicans-they are black, white and asian

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how do you get a girl to stop ignoring you? you kill her family with her watching.

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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger Woods They both have beards... EXCEPT FOR TIGER WOODS.

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One day a girl comes home crying to her father. Father, Father! She says, a boy i met touched my shoulder! Like this? Her father says and touches her shoulder. Yes just like that, a bad part was that he kissed me on my lips! Like this? her father says and kisses her on the lips. Yes just like that but the WORST thing was he stuck his you know what into my you know where. Like this? Her father says as he sticks his you know what into her you know where. Yes just like that father but he had AIDS! ......( Awkward silence)..... oh shit.

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Q:: when artificial intelligence takes over the planet, what will become of anti-joke.com? A:: idk, but my cousin's girlfriend and I will get naked together and she will get on top of me and tell me I'm awesome and that my d*ck feels really good inside her. you see by the time AI takes over, the means to create virtual reality experiences will be greatly enhanced.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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