What is both dead and alive at the same? nothing, thats scientifically impossible you fool

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

How do you keep Helen Keller distracted? Find a stimulating device that blind and deaf people can operate correctly.

Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial Muscles.

Why was the orphan crying? Because his parents are dead.

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? It was tied to the girl. Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He has cerebral palsy.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way Oh what fun it is to ride in a poop poop fart turd fart, dildo

how do you make a janeter cry, you shit on the floor

How do you piss off a lion? You repeatedly poke it with a stick.

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide. The librarian says "I'm worried about your book choice, maybe you should consult a theropast".

clamidia

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Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

what do you call a man with a mop? a janitor.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? To have a shit.

Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

"Hey look, mommy! I'm a whale!" (child proceeds to pull a shotgun and create a blowhole in his head)

you know what they say... hydrate or die

How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

What's worse then Obama? Nothing

what has legs but can't walk? a paraplegic

Womens rights

Q:Why did the dog jump over the fence A:Because he could

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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