96

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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what do you do if there is a black person in your front yard? tell him to leave...

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A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender immediately tells him to leave as they don't allow pets.

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What's the number one killer in America? Death.

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a grocery store. As they walk past the meat section, the Priest stops, smiles, and turns to the Rabbi. "Feeling Hungry?" The Rabbi reaches down and picks up a pack of Koscher hotdogs.

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why did Sussie fall off the swing? She had no arms! Knock knock whose there not Sussie

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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Why did the chickecross the roe? Because I was bein chased by an angry group o mobsters that 8 years ago were busted by the chicken when he was still working for NYPD and found them all in an ally and busted them for later discovered tax evasion and then 2 years later they found a way ou of prison and tracked down the chicken for 6 years until they found him in road island 4509 lake side estates and then proceeded to chase him onto and across a road that was near by to his lake side apartment and then they go tire and we. Back to their HQ in NY and then the leader of the gang went home and in a depression fuels rage mersiouy beat his wife then went up stairs and threw his 9 year old son out the window and hanged himself. The chicken also died because 8 years is at the top of their lifespan.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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y did simran cros rode? 2 get 2 uder side ofcurse. stopid nobs

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Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: negitave 999999999999999999e

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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What did the black guy do when he heard sirens? He Ran

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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How long does it take to cook a baby in the microwave? I don't know, I was too busy jacking off.

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a 12 year eld Maxican girl is aksed to spell the werd newmonia she gets it rite and wins the spalling beef which makes me sad bcuz English is my forst langage and i still dont get it and im 25

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops