knock knock who's there? no one... your lonely so you hear things

thumb_up thumb_down +86

If a stick is sticky and a bat is batty, what is a mountain? A mountain is rocky. Techinically, 'mountainly' is not an official word.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Three construction workers are sitting on a beam high in the air, getting ready to eat their lunch. "Hey!" someone shouts. "Get down from there! That's a safety violation!" So they do, and instead they eat their lunch on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

what do you call a black man in a police car? A police officer

thumb_up thumb_down +54

how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Your mom is so fat she has type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What is funnier than shooting a man in the face? Most things, shooting a man in the face is a terrible crime.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A duck walks into a bar and says he needs to buy a hammer. The bartender tells him that he's probably looking for the hardware store across the street. The duck realizes that he's disoriented again and should listen to his wife's many pleadings to get back on his medication.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

A tourist is hungry, so he asks a stranger to point him to the nearest McDonald's. The stranger points to the McDonald's across the street. As the tourist crosses the street, he gets hit by a car AND DIES. McDonald's kills.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q. What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree A. A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you kill a blonde? well there are several way's in which to kill another human being, infact, the point that she is blonde is rather irrelevant.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your mama's so dumb, she don't even know it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q- why are anti-jokes funny? A- cuz

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Do unto others as others would do unto you, said the rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what did the jewish man say to the christian man on the first day of hannukah? i like basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do porcupines have sex? The male begins by urinating all over the female. He then enters her from behind and proceeds to thrust until the act is completed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Roses are red, I have a phone, nobody texts me, forever alone...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A dog walks in to a Western Union, walks up to the cashier and says "I'd like to buy a telegram, please." The cashier says "Alright, what would you like it to say?" "I'd like it to say 'bow-wow-wow, bow-wow-wow" replies the dog. "Okay. You know, you can add another 'bow-wow-wow' to the message free of charge," the cashier informs. The dog says, "Well, that just wouldn't make any sense."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats blue and fluffy ? Blue fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What Is somthing that is 5 "5" and white A 5 "5" white person

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops